Be Still My Soul

Sometimes life is awful. Sometimes its made more awful when you know what you need to do but you have no idea how to get there or when significant obstacles stand in the way of it.
For instance
Time
Money
Plans
Support

But what really matters now is that I get it right with God - and then everything else will fall into place... eventually. I can't see the future and I don't know how my decision is going to play out - so its hard to believe that there is a right or a wrong here, but I know that God has a plan for me. It's scary. It's uncomfortable. It makes me cry... a lot. But its what I need right now, so bring it on. I know God's voice. It took me almost 21 years to learn to hear it, but I have (at least a little bit). I know that He speaks peace to our souls. He loves us. He loves me. He won't leave us stranded when we're at a crucial point. I know it. I just have to trust it.

I had my mind all made up to go to Tech. I did. Everything was playing out perfectly and I didn't see any flaws in it - but it didn't make any sense. I don't have any logical reason to go to tech. I can't see the future to know what will happen if I choose one way or the other. In these last few weeks doubt has crept in and held me firmly in its grasp.

God doesn't work through doubt.
or fear
or panic
He just doesn't.

That is not how answers come. They come with rightness, with a sense of peace - with a strengthening of faith. I know that. I just forgot it for a couple days. But the Lord is on my side. He wants this to work out and He is in control. I need to formally sit down and weigh my options, but I have a direction to go in... it's just a little dark right now. So I'll take a step of faith, and then another, and another, until I find the light God wants me to find.

"It will all be worth it in the end."

Be Still My Soul - Katharina von Schlegel; Jane Borthwick; Jean Sibelius